Making assumptions and buying fish fingers

What do these two items have in common?
Answer: Lots!

I was in Sainsbury's a while back, I bought and this is my honest list: Fish fingers, Nesquick (the creal), 4 bottles of dark ale, a 12 pack of comdoms, a Simpsons comic, those animal biscuits that Cadburys do and a one liter tub of Ben and Jerry's finest 'Half Baked'. I am not dressed nicely because I am going to go home and watch vanilla sky and eat junk.

You are the check out assistant what do you say:

a) Nothing! or maybe and 'mnaugh'.
b) Say Hi. Then feel awkward when the customer engages in small talk.
c) Eye the condoms and wag your eye brows.
d) Say 'You've got some really lucky kids at home tonight. Did they just pass their exams?'

Acceptable answers are b or c unless your in an Asda when I'd prefer option a (but the Asda neer me is actively shit-full). But as expected the answer I got was d. This was a year ago now so I was 21, in order to have kids that had just passed any exams I'd have had to have them when I was 9. I am not too proud to admit that I didn't get my period till I was thirteen, I told him this. As it also happens I didn't loose my virginity till the following week and I spent the next 3 months blaming it on what has become known as the fish finger incident.

What happened next I am not proud of. But as someone who is spending a Friday night alone watching vanilla sky and eating junk, my self esteem was LOW. I swore at him. I called in a arse hole and suggested that he take one of the frozen fishy beauties and stick it down his cock. I think he had been expecting me to gloat about how 'little Sasha and Sebastion' (twins) had over achieved on their ______exams. So he was somewhat shocked and quiet, the old man behind me in the queue found it highly amusing however.

While I did get my shopping and the guy did apologize ( didn't I should have but I didn't), I don't go to that Sainsbury's anymore.

The moral of the fable: Don't make assumptions, if you do don't flesh them out. Test the water with an innocuous leading question 'somebody's gonna be having a good night to night?' at which point I would have said that the condoms are for making paint bombs not sex (but that's annother story). Because while admire honesty there is a line...